This Drifting Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the TV Disappointments of the Year.

Looking back, we consider the television landscape of the recent year, a handful of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this love/hate spin-off? Burdened with woeful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third season began, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, viewers certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and materialism? The almost wilful procession of tropes? Acting so poor they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and fatherly failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have known it from this three-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while struggling to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy figures meeting in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just really boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into quaint lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are compelled to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series chose not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like reading a sales brochure. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who lands in London with a broken heart. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Rather, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from oddly jaunty, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A total mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? No! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator renowned for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to drag her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.